They say your scars show that you survived, your past, but I don’t always see it that way, I see it as wounds of my heartache, of what I went through, as if chapters, reminders of days gone by, of  pain that I have went through that I wish I could forget but I see them ever time I see a scar, of moments in my life that I should not never have go through,that nobody should have to gone though. It’s just not right. Why should we have to go through this, why should we have to have so many scars, why should we have so many CHAPTERS!!!!!

What’s a normal life, whatever that is…. I want it, please, it has got to be a better life, I mean really scars are all over my body created from all the surgeries one after another to fix this and that but all the while they actually are annihilating the person within me, the person standing in front of them, screaming inside leave me alone for the vocals of my voice are silenced to there ears while they form another chapter.

The reflection of my past is a blur,  but sadly it is not, for the remembrances of the past and my brain dwells to stay, I often say that I wish had some sort of brain damage so that my brain would remember nothing so i would not know the contrast between the past life and the present.

The scars come in many morphologies. It is not one size fits all, but it is, set up to run the same way, they make you feel woundable, caught in a web of expatriation.there is no use try and fight it if you get a surgery you will get one, they are almost as if they need to be called Pedro Lopez (serial killer with a body count of 300), yes that’ how I feel, scars are horrible to look at just knowing that they are there is horrible,if affects my mind to a point that I want nobody to see me.

Chapters are full of scars and stories many of ups and downs in our lives in which we do and don’t need, for if it’s not chapters in our lives, what do we have……. death. So I will take the chapters with not so much grace, but it could be a lot more worse.